In my previous post I mentioned writing about the eating disorder meeting that I possibly attend. Well, I have decided to attend my first meeting tomorrow. To say that I’m nervous is an understatement, I’m petrified. Am I worried about being judged still? Yes. Am I worried I’ll be the only person to show, therefor lowering my self confidence even more wondering where the people like me are? That’s just me overthinking.. but yes! Am I scared to speak out? Very much so. What I’m most scared of though, is recovering. That sounds confusing, I understand. This has been apart of me for so long that I don’t know any different. How does it feel to go about your day not worrying about how you look, not checking every mirror, eating the desert after dinner. Eating dinner. I know this is just a meeting, but to me it’s a possible positive step to a happier, healthier Morgan. I’ve been battling this for a decade now and know recovery doesn’t happen overnight or with one meeting, but it’s a chance to try something new and keep on fighting!
If anyone reading has attended EDA, please comment about your experience! 🙂 (calm my nerves) ❤