Period: (Noun) The periodic discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the uterus, occurring approximately monthly from puberty to menopause in nonpregnant women and females of other primate species.
I like to tell the men in my life that the lining of my uterus is literally falling out of my vagina right now, so yeah, I’m kinda bitchy.
Also, why is it so hard for guys to say tampon?
Who knew they would be so afraid of some plastic, cotton and string? Am I right?
Now, I didn’t want to make this post about all about men and their inability to understand or relate to a woman’s menstrual cycle, but I am.
I had a guy say to me the other day that women exaggerate their periods. “It can’t hurt that bad”, “toughen up”, “stop bitching”, “You can’t be the president because of your period.”
Now, I was also with my girlfriend, so let’s take into consideration that he expressed his opinions about an experience only WOMEN have, that he hasn’t had and never will have, to two adult women with years of experience and now, sudden outrage.
It was on like friggin’ Donkey Kong ladies..
Lucky for him though,
Neither of us were experiencing our period at that time, so
We let him live another day.
That is the short version of events that occured during this incident, nevertheless, I shouldn’t need defend mine, or any other females, “Shark Week”
Here are a few things all men should know about your girls favorite relative, Aunt Flow.
- Having our periods is a legitimate excuse for any and all things.
- A period does not attract bears.
- Or sharks.
- We’ll have our periods for most of our lives, so get the fuck over tampons.
- No matter how much we hate another girl, we will give her a fucking tampon. It is girl code.
- We can bleed for five days without dying. Sorcery.
- Only unhealthy women don’t get their periods. Be grateful we’re healthy
- Chocolate is necessary. We’re not making it up!
- Yes, PMS is real. Yes, it makes us a little insane.
- When you say things like, “Are you on your period?” because we’re annoyed with you, the words “fuck boy” come to mind. So, stop doing that.
If I was the President, I would use my “dragon-lady week” as a secret weapon. Ultimately, syncing my period with all the women in the United State’s periods, inflicting fear in man EVERY MONTH FOR A WEEK FOR ETERNITY!
I have big dreams
and I still chase after them, even if i’m on my period.