Recovery

– A return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. 

What is normal? I’ve forgotten the feeling.

It’s no secret that recovery scares me, but why? 

People recover everyday. People want to recover.

It’s been ten years now Morgan, can’t you just get better already?

I don’t know?

The hardest part right now is being able to see a future without my ED.

This is me now. Who was I without this? What occupied my mind? 

I fill my mind now with quotes on positivity, encouragement and self-love, hoping eventually I’ll have that big AH HA moment and become this beautiful, strong, get out of my way superhero kind of woman and I save myself from myself.

Right now, they’re still just quotes. No AH HA! No superpowers.

Don’t worry, I’m not letting inspirational quotes from pinterest decide my recovery process. 

That’s my responsibility. 

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.” Naeem Callaway

See, that’s a good quote! It gives me a glimpse of hope.

I wonder, will my present self be strong enough to let this thing go? My future self sure hopes so. 

I’ll say this, I’m doing my best.

It all starts with that one small step, right?

youngme

-My younger self-

If I could say anything to that girl in the picture, it would be this, “You may not see it, but that reflection in the mirror is YOU and you are beautiful exactly how you are.”

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