My therapist once explained to me how my eating disorder has turned into a sort of coping mechanism. A thought in my head that I’m in control of something when everything else around me seems to be falling apart. It’s not even a thought really anymore, it’s become second nature now. I don’t even notice I’m acting on these bad habits until it starts to show. We all handle life’s stressors differently, I just like to be extra. No really, jokes aside, why can’t my coping skills be simple? I can’t tell you why. I’m wired differently, we all are. Many people may imagine girls coping by eating tubs of ice cream on the couch while watching rom coms, or The Notebook. Not this girl and not my girlfriend passed out on the couch right now who is experiencing way worse than probably you and definitely myself. She would rather eat off brand gummy worms and read a good book, judging by what I saw this morning when I checked on her. Life right now is alright by any normal persons standards, but with just enough chaos to ignite a small fire in my disorder. It says it in the title of my page. I”m fighting every day, hoping to win!

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