Swimsuits!!…Body Image Issues.

It’s that time of year again. Swimsuit season. The season, to be honest, when the majority of people are going to be self-conscious about their “summer bodies.” I floated the Buffalo with a group of friends this past weekend and wasn’t self-conscious at all. In fact, my body image didn’t even cross my mind once until I saw a photo that I specifically wanted taken. I was sitting on a broken tree branch in the water, taking a shot of whiskey, enjoying life. Of course, the first thing I saw was fat. My boyfriend took the photo and captured everything I wanted and the only words that came out of my mouth were “I look fat!” I know anyone else looking at this picture would say differently. This is where my disorder gets tricky and confusing. I think I have the body dysmorphia part under control and then this happens. I know when I’m too skinny and need help and then I get to a healthier weight and don’t see what everyone else sees. At the gym yesterday I cried because I wasn’t there for the right reasons. I was there because of a picture. A picture that triggered something in my brain to want to lose weight. Another trigger I posted about a while back was when someone says that I look healthy. You look good in those shorts, they fit nice. Why can’t I take these kind words as a compliment? Instead, I freak out in my mind and go into panic mode. These compliments suddenly turn into an insult. It’s tiring constantly trying so hard to see myself through your eyes. I wish I could. The difference today than a few years ago is this, I won’t let myself lose control again. This is easier said than done, but I have come too far to fall back. 

One thought on “Swimsuits!!…Body Image Issues.

  1. Hello Friend. I just read your post. I understand what you are going through. it is commonplace in our modern society for people to only be worried about what is wrong with their bodies, and not the things that are right with it. We have been trained to do this. The media, Photoshop, cosmetic surgeries, they all add to the already complicated fabric of how we feel regarding our bodies, but guess what, we do not have to go through these anxiety pangs.

    I honestly believe that working out, eating healthy and using good skincare are good life choices that we all should make. However, we need to understand that our true value does not come from how we look. Our true value comes from our relationship with God. There is a life beyond our current life, it is the eternal life. This life that we live in is so short compared to our eternal life that is permanent. We need to prepare for the eternal life. We do not gain access into the eternal life based on how we look, but based on our standing with God. I understand that focusing on God will not suddenly erase all feelings of insecurity, however, it would shift our focus to what is truly important.

    We maintain a relationship with God through speaking with him in prayers. He loves us and he is usually willing to bless us with the things that we ask for, at the right time and according to his will. Here is a prayer that you can do:

    “Father God, I understand that I was wonderfully and fearfully made, but the reality of that seems hard to understand because of world we live in. Lord, teach me to understand the true beauty of the skin that I am in. Teach me to understand that my true value comes from my relationship with you. Let every food I eat, product I use, and workout regimen I choose work for me. However, open my eyes to what is truly important, which is you”

    If you wish to pursue a relationship with God (if you do not already have one), here are the steps that I usually recommend:

    1) Find a quiet space that is free from distractions, a place where you can pray

    2) Imagine that Jesus is in front of you. Tell him to come into your life, to make your heart his home, and to become your lord and personal savior. Ask for a forgiveness of past sins, and to become a new creation in him. Beware of sudden distractions when you pray, this is a trick that the devil uses to distract people from having focused prayers. You might also get the feeling that Jesus is not there or that he does not care for you, this is another trick that the devil uses to discourage people from prayers. Jesus is there with you, and he cares for you. You also do not need to be afraid of the devil, because the God that we serve is superior to the devil, and we as his followers are superior to the devil as well.

    3) If you have any specific needs, tell Jesus about them. If there is something you need, ask for it in Jesus name and God would attend to your prayer. You need to understand that God usually has three answers to prayers: Yes, Yes but Wait, and No! and he has a reason for every decision. Also note that when you pray, you need to have faith that God will do it for you without doubting God’s power. Lastly, you need to put in actions when you pray, E.g. if someone wants a job, and all they do is pray and have faith without actually applying for jobs, they would not get a job. God does not work that way. God loves hard workers, if God gave blessings to those who simply prayed and had faith but are lazy at work, Christians would be the laziest people on earth. lol. God rewards hard-work, your part is to pray that he should fast-track your success, so that you receive your blessing quicker than others who are simply relying on their own strengths alone. When you get the answers to your prayers, do not forget to thank God.

    4) Begin to read the bible and obey it. You can find some bibles for free online. There are also bible apps that you can use to study the bible on google play.

    5) if you face trials and tribulations, sometimes these are designed to test your faith. You combat this by reaching out to God in prayer, fasting and maintaining consistency in the faith, and God will see you through all trials.

    6) You can join a community of bible believing Christians, their conversations about the faith should help your spiritual growth.

    7) Get a water baptism, and pray to be baptized by the holy spirit.

    Remember that God loves you. There is nothing wrong with wanting a better body for the right reasons, but put God first. Good luck and God bless you, Amen.


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