New Year, New Me!?!

Happy New Year! Yes, I am falling behind in my posting but I am finally getting the motivation to start writing again! I decided that for this post I would share with you the article I wrote for the magazine. Just because I wasn’t a good fit for them, doesn’t mean I can’t share it elsewhere.  Enjoy! IMG_1538

Eating Disorders: Understanding the Girl Behind the Glasses.

Suffering from an eating disorder is in no way glamorous. It’s not fun or rewarding either. You want to be skinny, don’t you? Throwing up your food gives you a high, right?  Yes and no. For example, after ten years I am to the point where I can see this sickness in the mirror, but I do nothing to stop it. I admit that I’m sick, but can’t help what is now engraved in me. Every day is harder than the last when you are battling a disorder, whether it’s anorexia, bulimia, or a combination of the two, which I suffer from, called bulimarexia. The voice in the back of my head will never shut up and the calorie numbers on the back of the box will never be small enough.

How Negative Stigma Affects Me.

The negative stigma behind eating disorders has shaped my way of living to the point that I will disguise my disorder with baggy pants, sweatshirts, pretend eating, and isolation. I will wear sunglasses in the grocery store as my “protection” to somewhat block out the eyes staring at me as I count the calories on the back of different brands of tuna cans. We may be sick, but we’re not deaf. We can still hear you mumble under your breath “She’s so skinny”. I suppose you think I like the feeling of hunger but I don’t, it hurts. Even you, with your buggy full of food, you know what hunger feels like. We can relate on that, let’s chat. The public has a skewed idea that people with eating disorders are superficial and vain. We are self-inflicting this pain as opposed to someone with depression or anxiety for example and are left with little or no sympathy.

How Do We Change the Way We Look at Eating Disorders? 

Speaking from a personal level, I can agree that we need to be more educated not only on eating disorders but on mental health in general. We continue to find ways to improve and take better care of vital organs in our body, but the brain is overlooked. Mental Illness is a term we commonly form negative opinions about, but if we can change our views on eating disorders and look at them with the same concern and compassion as any other mental illness, I think the battle with this disease could be more easily treated. Overall, we could help sufferers, like myself, be more open to asking for help.

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