12-7-17 Breakfast Burritos.. Hold the sausage.

I’ve been a Pescatarian (fish as my only protein source) for almost three years. I chose to live this way for moral reasons but it can aid in my disorder a bit. I’m limited to less fatty meats and vegetables. I can feel okay baking a piece if tilapia for dinner, knowing I’m consuming less than 120 calories. I don’t feel as guilty and I know my body is still getting some protein. Win; Win? Now, Let’s get to the title of this post. I have a deep love for super sonic breakfast burritos from Sonic…. Now, I can’t tell you when I fell in love with these tortillas filled with tater tots, cheese and eggs, but, I can tell you that this love isn’t easy. In fact, I just wish we could break up because it’s really not you, It’s me… Let me break it down for you… Every bite I take I enjoy the hell out of it! If this was the only thing I could eat for the rest of my life, I would not be sad about it. Now here comes bulimarexia( , uninvited like always, turning the gears in my brain. I can’t just indulge in that kind of goodness without repercussions. Hopefully I will get to that point some day, but for now my disorder has control. No, I don’t purge, I will try and avoid doing that at all costs, so what DO I do?, I limit myself to less food, or just fewer calories the rest of the day. You can look at it as I’m treating myself then punishing myself, but I don’t see it that way. I just see it as a compromise. To me it’s a normal: routine when I feed that certain breakfast craving. Why can’t I just eat my burrito and dammit have another one if I want? Cheers to one day being able to tell my disorder to shut up and pass the picante sauce!