I’ve been a Pescatarian (fish as my only protein source) for almost three years. I chose to live this way for moral reasons but it can aid in my disorder a bit. I’m limited to less fatty meats and vegetables. I can feel okay baking a piece if tilapia for dinner, knowing I’m consuming less than 120 calories. I don’t feel as guilty and I know my body is still getting some protein. Win; Win? Now, Let’s get to the title of this post. I have a deep love for super sonic breakfast burritos from Sonic…. Now, I can’t tell you when I fell in love with these tortillas filled with tater tots, cheese and eggs, but, I can tell you that this love isn’t easy. In fact, I just wish we could break up because it’s really not you, It’s me… Let me break it down for you… Every bite I take I enjoy the hell out of it! If this was the only thing I could eat for the rest of my life, I would not be sad about it. Now here comes bulimarexia( , uninvited like always, turning the gears in my brain. I can’t just indulge in that kind of goodness without repercussions. Hopefully I will get to that point some day, but for now my disorder has control. No, I don’t purge, I will try and avoid doing that at all costs, so what DO I do?, I limit myself to less food, or just fewer calories the rest of the day. You can look at it as I’m treating myself then punishing myself, but I don’t see it that way. I just see it as a compromise. To me it’s a normal: routine when I feed that certain breakfast craving. Why can’t I just eat my burrito and dammit have another one if I want? Cheers to one day being able to tell my disorder to shut up and pass the picante sauce!
Wow. You’d be surprised how an anxiety disorder haunts me as well. It’s not w eating, but w other things. This is why I do understand. Love this blog.
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